Letting Go of the Christmas Ideal for Christ Himself

Letting Go of the Christmas Ideal for Christ Himself

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The Christmas season is upon us, often meaning our joys and sorrows are increasingly magnified. If our lives are brimming with joy and loved ones near, well, the strings of bulb lights and wintery wreaths energize that happiness like cinnamon to steaming cider. But if we’re treading a path of loss or suffering or unmet longings, our pain is only increased by the continual reminder of what could be, or should be—A soul mate to call your own, a home of bustling children and grandchildren, vibrant health, full stockings and bank accounts, and chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Longing for the Christmas Ideal

The Christmas ideal that accompanies our passage through December is a companion that reflects what we deeply hope to be our reality while exposing the parts of our lives that fall quite shy of the image it upholds. As a single woman with no children, Christmastime is both exceptionally sweet and a reminder of what is not. I will not be arm in arm with a husband through the malls, nor will I be buying my own children matching pajamas. I’ll be torn between deeply enjoying my parents and family in Virginia on Christmas day while simultaneously missing my community in Tennessee, the friends who make-up my daily life.

To be absolutely certain these are trifle voids compared to some of the unspeakable upheaval and tragedies some of the people I know are currently in the throes of. Regardless of how we’re walking through this Christmas season, every point at which life does not measure up to loved ones around crackling fires and picturesque table settings will be exposed.

So what do we do with a Christmas ideal that shows us what we all long to be true but is perpetually out of reach?

We do what Elizabeth did when Mary came to visit. We rejoice in our Savior instead of dwelling on who’s got it better or where our lives aren’t living up to our Christmas expectations.

A Tale of Two Relatives

Consider Elizabeth’s story leading up to the encounter with Mary who came to visit her newly pregnant with Jesus. Elizabeth and her husband Zechariah had pleaded with the Lord for children but with nothing but seeming silence in return. For a woman of Jewish culture to be barren was the ultimate social shame, a devastating loss of legacy and meaning in one’s society. After years of what Elizabeth would refer to as her “disgrace among the people”, the angel Gabriel visited her husband in the temple proclaiming that Elizabeth would soon become pregnant with a son. And while any son would have done just perfectly for Elizabeth, this child would be the forerunner of the Messiah. After all her suffering, Elizabeth would bring into the world one of the most important figures in Christendom.

Mere months before the very first Christmas, we find Elizabeth’s life shaping up more divinely than she could have ever imagined. Her disgrace has been removed, her womb is inhabited with child, her status in society has been exalted. Soon she will place in her husband’s arms what she’d always longed to give him but never could. Elizabeth, well along in years and having been faithful to the Lord through decades of unanswered prayer has finally reached her moment. The shaft of God’s favor is finally beaming down upon this most faithful and deserving woman.

Nothing like six short months for someone to threaten a Christmas ideal; Enter, teenage relative Mary.

In those days Mary set out and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judah where she entered Zechariah’s house and greeted Elizabeth. (Luke 1:39)

Essentially the only woman in all of space, time and history who could have possibly outdone Elizabeth, shown her up, beat her out, crashed her party, would have been Mary the mother of Jesus (of course this was not Mary’s heart or intent). At the peak of Elizabeth’s glory a much younger and arguably less deserving woman steps through the front door bearing a child greater than her own. And if we’re looking at all of this strictly from a human perspective, Elizabeth’s Christmas ideal fractures before Christmas has even come.

But Elizabeth was not caught up in comparisons or jealousy. Instead, Elizabeth stuns with her gracious response.

How could this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? (Luke 1:43.)

Her words reveal a secret we desperately need at this time of year: Elizabeth’s hope was not in an ideal but in a person, the person of Jesus Christ. When the blessed mother of her Lord entered her home, the farthest thoughts from Elizabeth’s mind were the ways in which her esteem, happiness or place in society would be threatened. All that mattered to her was the Lord, and because this was foremost true she could delight in Mary’s blessing as well.

Resist the Christmas Comparison Game

As I venture into this Christmas season I will be deeply disappointed if I compare myself to those whose lives are living up to the Christmas ideal in ways I wish were true of my own. I will ache unnecessarily if I set my hopes on Christmas-y images of magical settings that inspire a longing they are powerless to fulfill. If my focus is solely on the movies and malls and mulling spices, I will miss out on intimacy with my Savior, the only one able to commune with me in the deepest places of my heart. I will look to Him to do what only He can do in me, what no idealistic fantasy can.

As unmet longings and desires are awakened this season, I will spend quiet hours in God’s Word being reminded of the ways that the Desire of Nations meets our longings. When I feel alone, I will meditate on Immanuel, God with us. Like Elizabeth, I want to look beyond my own wants while delighting in and helping others in the context of Christ and community—that the mother of my Lord, should come unto me?

While I intend to hold nieces and nephews on the couch and watch Frosty and Rudolph, decorate a bang-up tree, make gingerbread houses, stroll leisurely through shops, sing with Amy Grant in the kitchen, splurge on Christmas-y cups of coffee, read by the fire, dine with friends at special gatherings, and perhaps let myself dream of the unlikely if not impossibly serendipitous love story through a Hallmark movie or two, my hope will not be in these trappings.

The Christmas ideal will not be mistaken for my Savior.

 

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A Disney Trip and 3 Reasons I’m Choosing Aunthood

A Disney Trip and 3 Reasons I’m Choosing Aunthood

I just got back from Disney World with my parents, siblings, in-laws and five nieces and nephews, twelve of us in all.

I’m not really an amusement park person by nature—something about suffocating crowds and lines that serpentine in numbing rows and $14 turkey legs that I don’t really get. I realize I’m in the minority here though, so I pushed through my aversions and punched my ticket. (Actually I scanned my fingerprint, which linked to my magic band, which linked to my credit card. Basically, Disney owns me.)

Besides a generous amount of family laughter about stuff that is probably only funny to us, here’s how things went down: My oldest niece begged me to take her on Soarin’ for a second time, meaning we cumulatively waited in line for the length of a football game for a ride that lasts approximately as long as a lightening bolt. On the last night our family finally sat down at a decent restaurant when my baby niece started crying because she’d become constipated while eating an Olaf cake pop. At the end of dinner my youngest nephew thought he’d flushed his magic band down the toilet, which in a child’s world is equivalent to your house burning down.

But we joyfully enter this craziness because we’re aunts.

We embark on the turf of our nieces and nephews because we have a unique role in their lives that’s different from being their mom or dad.

So here are three reasons I’m choosing to invest as an aunt, besides the fact that I just love them so much and want to be in their lives:

Investing As An Aunt Means Stewarding The Family Relationships God’s Given Us

When I read through Scripture, especially the Old Testament, I see a strong thread of the importance of family and one’s heritage. Because I’m not married and don’t have children of my own, the children of my siblings are especially dear to me. (This is also true for my married siblings.) As a single woman, or any woman who has a void in her life, we can focus solely on what we’re missing, or we can claim the place God has given us with our nieces and nephews, a place no one else has.

If We Don’t Own Our Place In Our Nieces’ And Nephews’ Lives, Someone Else Will

I don’t want to abdicate the role I have with my little ones, because all manner of voices and opinions are, right now, competing for their attention and affections. I want the opportunity to demonstrate the grace of Jesus when they fail, reveal His love when they know they don’t deserve it, unfold the truths of Scripture as they grow, and offer wisdom in a confusing world that’s spilling over with ideas leading far from the heart of God. Of course my little group is still young, so a lot of what’s going on right now has to do with peeling tangerines and breaking up scuffles and buying bearded dragons as Christmas gifts. But still, I’m filling a space in their lives I pray is an extension of Christ’s love for them.

If We Invest in the Children Now We’ll Have A Voice Later

While we can’t strong arm our nieces and nephews to love the Lord their God with their whole hearts and minds, if we build a relationship with them today we’ll have a trusted place with them tomorrow. Even if they veer off that narrow path, they’ll know deep in their hearts who is praying and aching for them to come home. “Teach [God’s Words] to your children, talking about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deut 11:19.

Let’s own our places in the lives of these little ones. We have a place no one else does.

 

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In the Word In 2016, One Day At A Time

In the Word In 2016, One Day At A Time

In The Word In 2016, One Day At A Time

Morning Meditation, January 2016

Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”

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It’s that first week of January. That week I equally anticipate and dread. The parties and late nights and tins of assorted cookies are so last year, and I’m a little sad about that because I particularly savored the lazy days in pajama pants and the Trader Joe’s holiday section of festive chocolates. Gatherings and punctuations in routine were welcome solaces at the end of a year’s busyness. I relished them late into the night because all was calm, truly quiet, and after short nights of rest when I could have kept sleeping I forced my languid self out of the covers because I didn’t want to miss all that quiet. I mean there was the mall and commotion and parties and such, but the deadlines and general tugs had abated. Maybe you too were like me, nursing those last few weeks in December like the fleeting hours of sunlight in August.

Then the New Year came and a flip got switched. I was ready for a clean slate, a little discipline back in the mix, and a good carrot wouldn’t hurt anyone. And as much as I love a Christmas tree with its lights and sentimental ornaments—when it’s over it’s over. What made me feel all tingly inside a month ago had now become a scraggly fire hazard I’ve been known to single-handedly heave onto the top of my car, tie up and careen to the Christmas tree graveyard out of sheer desperation for it to be out of my house. This is not something you can wait for another person to come help you do. It. Has. To. Go. Then I start vacuuming pine needles. All the decorations get packed and stored in the abyss of my underground basement until next year. The trapdoor slams, and 2016…. here we go. That’s the exterior part anyhow.

What’s going on inside me is a different kind of packing up and putting away and looking ahead. I think a lot about the previous year. All the ground covered, or perhaps lost. Maybe just maintaining was a feat. I journal. I thank God for His faithfulness and consider based on last year where He might be leading in this one. I take a few more walks than normal and pray and ponder, asking the Lord to reveal Himself in greater measure. What should I put my hand to? Is there a new skill to learn or an old one at which to get better? Who is the Lord putting on my heart to encourage, pour into, disciple, or take a mission trip to visit? What do I need to repent of, besides way overdoing it in the Trader Joe’s holiday aisle? Really. What desperately needs sanctification? What parts of my heart have been hurt, calloused over to which I need Him to tend? I process all of this a bit more than the other eleven months in the year, and I’m guessing you do too.

And after all that I usually remember that what will ultimately be accomplished in 2016 will happen one helping at a time, one decision at a time, one hour earlier up in the morning, one prayer meeting, one seed, one meal made, one yes or no…. at a time.

And one page at a time.

Every moment we’re immersed in the Word is a moment with eternal ramifications. All those moments add up, which is why it’s vital to make time for them each day. To have a plan and to guard that plan. I find that having a study I’m working through is helpful because it offers a daily beginning and end, an author as a guide, and all along the way points toward Christ through the Scriptures. If a bible study isn’t what works for you, I would take a book of the bible you want to study and pore over it in a month or two’s time, but set a daily plan. Journal what you’re learning and what God’s revealing. Have on hand a solid commentary as a supplement. Here’s a link to some of LifeWay’s offerings as a starting place.

At the top of 2016 may we allow The Word to give us understanding of God’s character so we can know who He is and how He acts. May it speak to our longings and passions and instruct us how to let them inspire but not rule us. At its feet may we gain wisdom for complex situations and understanding that peels back layers of prejudice, deceit and selfishness. As it says in Hebrews The Word is able to divide between soul and spirit, so sharp it can cut through sinful sinews, or separate good from bad or good from best.

For His Word is a true mirror, refiner’s fire, healing balm, sure rudder, sheltering hull, lamp, light, hope, help, plumb line, comfort.

May we let it do its work one day at a time.

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Immanuel, God With Us

Immanuel, God With Us

Merry Christmas Friends,

I hope you all are having a meaningful Advent season. I’ve always felt that the holidays magnify whatever state we’re already in. If we’re in love, the season strings lights around our romances; If we’re lonely or hurting, those same lights seem to cast a glaring beam on our ache. And if we’re somewhere in the bell curve of general humanity, we probably have both excitement and longing that are simultaneously being magnified. It is perhaps for this reason that no other name means more to me at Christmas than the name Immanuel, God with us.

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This is where I’ve been sitting in the mornings and evenings, contemplating and communing with this God With Us. My tree looked more charming in the lot than it did when I finally steadied it upright next to my fireplace, which isn’t working right now by the way. My chimney is leaking among other problems like it being almost ninety years-old. But the tree and the leaking chimney with the stockings hanging from the mantle will do, because they remind me of Jesus having come.

Consider the significance of having come.

God did not wave a wand or sweep His right arm across the sky or condemn from afar when He could have. Instead, He sent His Son to save His people from their sins (Matthew 1:21). I sat by this tree last night and this morning, recounting not just my sins but my sinfulness. (David, the Psalmist, the King on whose throne Jesus would eventually reign, claimed in Psalm 51 that he was sinful since birth.) I’m not talking about berating myself at Christmastime, rather I’m just a little more aware of what’s wrong with me, or what’s not right with me, and how much I need a Savior.

I’m aware that in this life we can be as excited and crackling with happiness as cranberries on a skillet, and in the very same day we can wound with our words, jealousy can tackle us from behind and we can be faint with longing. In either state we need a Savior. And so Jesus came. God with us. Not God far away, not God from a distance, not God as one of many. But Immanuel.

My prayer for you and me this Christmas is that we would relish His nearness. Our sins have been forgiven, joyful all ye nations rise. He mends the brokenhearted, O come let us adore Him. He brings His blessings into our broken relationships, far as the curse is found. He frees those in bondage, chains shall He break. Joy to the world, the Lord has come.

I am grateful for each one of you and look forward to seeing many of you on the road in 2016.

Merry Christmas,
Kelly

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A Monday Memo

A Monday Memo

Dear Blog Readers –

We wanted to pass along the message that Kelly is out this week ministering (and resting) with dear friends overseas.  She thought you might enjoy this photo from a young adult gathering she had the privilege of being part of in Milan on Sunday night.

Got to share in Milan, Italy tonight with this young adult crowd. The church was started by two dear friends 35 years ago. The last time I was here I was with my mom who had taken me on my first mission trip. I was 14. Tonight I'm celebrating God's faithfulness.

Got to share in Milan, Italy tonight with this young adult crowd. The church was started by two dear friends 35 years ago. The last time I was here I was with my mom who had taken me on my first mission trip. I was 14. Tonight I’m celebrating God’s faithfulness.

Also, if you are missing your Monday Morning Meditation today (as we are), we would encourage you to visit the Morning Meditation archives and read back through the incredible installments published over the past few months.  Click HERE to read them all.

May you encounter the Lord in a mighty way today.

Blessings,

“Team Kelly”

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Opening Our Eyes To See The Harvest

Opening Our Eyes To See The Harvest

“Do you not say, ‘Four months more and then the harvest’? I tell you open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.” John 4:35

Jesus spoke these words to His disciples on the heels of a significant encounter He’d had with a woman from Samaria. He’d met her at a well while the disciples were off buying food. When they returned they were surprised to find Jesus talking with a woman, not to mention a Samaritan one with whom the Jews had few encounters. While the disciples had been busy running errands, Jesus had revealed Himself to this woman as the Messiah who had come to redeem both Jews and Gentiles alike. This included her, a promiscuous woman who’d all her life tried to slake her thirst at the wells of husbands and boyfriends and live-ins. She’d finally been found by the One who could satisfy the longings of her heart and who wouldn’t leave her thirsty, or leave her at all. So she dropped her water jar and bolted back to town to tell everyone she knew that the long awaited One, who miraculously knew every detail of her life, had come to town.

The Harvest Is All Around Us

The disciples missed all this, not because they were out doing anything deviant, but because they didn’t know what they were supposed to be looking for. Privately they were wondering why in the world Jesus was talking to a Samaritan woman, and publicly they were concerned He’d skipped lunch. But in a sense Jesus was eating because He explained that His food is to do the work of His Father. What was that work? At the moment it was tending to a woman who was desperately unfulfilled at the end of a long chain of men. The disciples were standing in the midst of a harvest, whose stalks were brushing up against their shoulders, yet they couldn’t discern it. I’m afraid this is me more often than I realize.

The Harvest is Now

Jesus’s choice of a harvest imagery is interesting here because all of us go in and out of sowing and reaping seasons, each demanding a different outlook. When you’re sowing, you’re working and waiting; when you’re reaping, you’re working and gathering what you’ve been waiting for. There’s an urgency to harvest time. The season is swift and you don’t want to miss it. I think the disciples might have mistakenly thought they were in a sowing season, waiting for Jesus to take over, perhaps, as a political or socio-economic powerhouse. In John 4:35 He turned this notion on its head. He was showing the disciples that what He’d really come to do was set captives free, mend broken hearts, wash the stains of sin clean by laying down His life. And the time was now.

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Open Your Eyes

Every time my sister Katie visits me in Nashville she spots a celebrity. Every. Single. Time. On her last visit she sent me this text me from a boutique. “Just saw Sheryl Crow, and I haven’t even turned my famous eyes on yet.” When Jesus told His disciples, open your eyes, I think He was saying, turn on your spiritual eyes. Turn on your hurting-people eyes. Be looking in the right places: The Harvest Field. This is simply the people we encounter in our neighborhoods and workplaces, elementary schools and coffee shops, family gatherings and mission trips. People who need an encounter with the same Jesus who changed this woman’s life while she was going about her daily business.

The time is still now. The harvest is ripe and hearts are ready.

We need only turn our harvest eyes on.

 

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