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- Susan Yates
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- Susan’s Family
Hi Dear Readers,
I want to introduce you to my friend Susan Yates. She lives in the Northern Virginia area where I grew up and her husband pastors The Falls Church. She is a wife, mother, grandmother, author, speaker and a dear believer. She’s full of wisdom, so you’ll want to read on.
You can find Susan at susanalexanderyates.com and on Twitter at @susanayates and Facebook
Susan was so gracious to write this encouraging post on overcoming discouragement. I know you’ll be encouraged:
Do you ever feel rocked by bad news? More-than-disappointed because things didn’t turn out the way you wanted? Has someone you relied on let you down? Did a relationship fail to develop as you had hoped, or the job you needed not come through? Have your small regrets grown into a big pile of discouragement? Has it been a miserable week, a long season of trials, or even just a “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?”
If so, you are not alone. Disappointment is very real and all too common for each one of us. It can cause us to sink into the pit of discouragement and lose sight of the light. And as believers it’s easy to pile on the guilt that so often accompanies this. I shouldn’t feel this way. I should handle this better. I should trust Jesus more. Self-condemnation, though pervasive, is about as useful as piling big rocks on yourself when you’re already at the bottom of the pit.
When I was a little girl we often took vacations at the beach. I have a vivid memory of my Dad standing on the shore with his perfect newhairline hairstyle looking while we kids swam in the ocean. With hands on his hips, his baldhead gleaming in the sun and waves splashing his feet, he stood resolute as our lifeguard. We were his treasures and he was not about to let us get dragged out to sea by a rip current. At any moment he stood ready to dive in and yank us out of the deep water. He did not rescue us every time a wave knocked us flat – he knew we needed to right ourselves when that happened, but he was ever vigilant against unseen dangers.
In thinking about my grown-up disappointments I imagine the ocean. Choppy waves on the surface are normal. Winds come and go impacting the sea in a myriad of ways. You can be floating calmly one moment, then hit head-on by a huge wave the next minute. It’s both fun and scary. It’s a normal part of the life of the sea.
Disappointment is a normal part of our lives. Feeling deeply sad is not wrong. Jesus himself was grieved and anguished. He wept when Lazarus died even though he knew he would raise him. He suffered deep agony in the garden. Those he loved failed him. He understands our disappointments. He feels them with us. (Hebrews 2:14-16). We must not condemn ourselves for what is a God given emotion. (Rom 8:1).
These normal disappointments are like choppy waves on the ocean. They come and go. They hurt, but not for long. However if we let ourselves wallow too long in disappointment it becomes similar to succumbing to a dangerous rip current that can pull us further from shore into more treacherous water. You can’t see this current. You don’t know it’s coming until you realize it has taken you too far out. It can be subtle or it can come on suddenly and a child is not likely to recognize its danger. That’s why my Dad stood ready and alert. If we drifted too far, he waved us back and if he perceived we were in real danger he swam to grab us.
Recently I got caught in a rip current.
A project I had worked on for years was turned down. I was crushed. I felt personally rejected because my work had been rejected, and then on top of that I felt guilty for feeling so upset about it. This was not a matter of life and death. It was ‘just’ a rejection, but it hurt- a lot. Guilt and disappointment grew into a heavy blanket that weighed on me. I couldn’t move past it, and I wallowed in it for days. However, God saw my plight and He began to reveal to me that I was being “ripped” out into a dangerous place of deep discouragement. I had a choice to make. I could continue to chew over my disappointment and dwell on my discouragement or I could put my eyes back on Jesus.
Hebrews 12:2 came to mind. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”
My feelings didn’t change immediately. I realized that I had exhausted myself trying to swim against the tide of self-pity. I needed Jesus to rescue me. So I made a simple choice to think about who He is instead of my own misery. I asked Him to rescue me. What did this look like? It meant repeating to myself throughout the day the character traits of God. He understands me; He loves me; He has a plan; He has been faithful in the past; He alone has the whole picture, etc. I have had to make this choice again and again, every day, and many times throughout the day.
As I’ve reflected on this experience, several things have helped me:
*Recognize that disappointment is a normal part of living in this world. All of us will experience it. (Even that person who looks like “she has it all together.” It’s a myth. She doesn’t.)
*Be alert to the dangers of moving from the normal waves of disappointment into the pull of a rip current- a dangerous trajectory which can take us far away from the safety of our Father. One of Satan’s greatest tools is that of discouragement. He uses it because it is so subtle.
*Resist becoming critical of a person who doesn’t understand how you feel, or respond in the way you want them to. Our enemy loves to nurture a critical spirit within our heart. God knows how you feel. (I almost threw a shoe at my husband because he said, ‘You’ll just have to trust Jesus.’ He wanted to comfort me but he just didn’t know how.)
*Restore your perspective. Go to a museum. Listen to praise music. Meet with someone and ask how God is working in his or her life. Hang out with folks who make you laugh. Do something for someone else.
*Ask God to reveal to you something new. One of the things God revealed to me was that I needed to ask myself, “Have I let my project become an idol?” Ouch. I could see my subtle drift in this direction.
*Spend time in the scriptures. God’s word is full of promises, full of power and never fails to speak to us if we let it. The Psalms are a great place to be as David is so honest.
*Make a list of the ways you have experienced God’s faithfulness in the past. This will build up your hope for the future.
*Remember that time heals. You may not feel better right away. Your circumstances might not change but you will change as you focus on God and allow Him to use this time in your life for your good and His glory.
*If you are experiencing discouragement that is deeper and longer lasting than the normal everyday stuff you would be wise to reach out for the support of others or a good counselor. Remember no pit is so deep that God is not deeper still.
The mental picture of my Dad on the beach intently watching over me ready to run to my rescue is a visible reminder of how much more my heavenly Father is watching over me and will come to my rescue.
“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who were too strong for me…He brought me out into a spacious place. He rescued me because He delighted in me” (Psalm 18:16-19)
A Woman Inspired Online Today
Hey Everyone,
I’ll be speaking on the book of Ruth this morning online at 11:30 CST. You can go to https://www.awomaninspiredconference.org/ to check it out, along with several other speakers. Hope to catch you there.
Thoughts On Worship
I have loved leading worship in many environments over the past several years – it has become one of my favorite musical expressions. I think performing is an incredibly moving and impacting experience, but, for me, I found a level of comfort and excitement while leading people in corporate worship that I had rarely experienced in my previous performance settings. My hope is to continue writing and leading worship music for the rest of my life, even if it’s just me on the piano by myself one day. (Still have this dream of learning the piano – lessons coming soon…)
But as I think of worship – even beyond the musical element of it – I am intrigued by the use of the word ‘worship’ as found in the book of Exodus. When God appointed Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt He said a certain phrase over and over and over again, “Let my people go, so that they may worship me.” I’ve read through the journey of the Israelites’ mass exodus out of Egypt countless times, but never remember seeing the so-that part. God delivering His people from Egypt was all about worship. We might expect something more along the lines of “Let my people go, so that they can tithe more, or keep the rules more comprehensively, or go to church every Sunday, or feed the poor, or subscribe to Christian magazines… I don’t know, you can fill in the blank, but you get the point. God could have made freedom about anything, but He made it about worship. (Which, by the way, probably does entail some of the aforementioned things, but it all begins with worship). (Click the title to read on…)
Recipe Of The Month
A couple weekends ago I brunched at one of my favorite french cafés in Nashville. The chef was fresh out of her steel-cut oatmeal, leaving me to forage through the menu for more exotic fare. I ended up stepping way out on the wild side – what other options do you have when the oatmeal is gone? And ordered the Farrosotto. Next to the name in funky script were the listed ingredients: Mushrooms. I’d heard of them. Butternut squash, butter; check, check. But when I came across the word ‘farro’, I had to involve the waitress. She described it as an ancient grain that is similar to barley and spelt, yet has its own distinct rich and nutty flavor. It was calling out to me in a desperate little voice from the menu, Give me a chance! Give me a chance! And a well-deserving chance it got, hence, the following recipe: (please note this a different recipe from the restaurant’s, but great nonetheless. I made if for myself the other night. Would go amazing with salmon). Note: You can find farro at Whole Foods and online. Comment if you can find it at other brick and mortar stores. Click the title for the rest…
What I’m Reading and Loving
I don’t get to read as much as I’d like, and I can only imagine how true this is for people who have little ones to tend to from dawn to dusk, and then probably, still, from dusk to dawn. I got the slightest taste of this today when I took three of my favorite six children in all of Nashville over to my house for a fun snow day – even though there was no snow (from this winter on I shall start referring to them as “flake days” maybe). At any rate, I got no writing done. I got no reading done. How could I when there were shoes to tie and games of Hangman to play; when The Incredible Mr. Limpet was playing in my living room? I wouldn’t trade the day for anything, but if I had – absolutely had – to trade it for a day of reading, this is what I’d have in my hands…
First off, Mark Batterson’s new book Primal: Recovering The Lost Soul Of Christianity. I’m almost done and it is a must-read. (My dad is an amazing guy and has pastored for over 35 years and read more books than I can imagine; he puts Primal in his top five.) Here is why I love it as well: This book shows the reality of the Gospel, it doesn’t just talk about it or define it.
You can tell from Mark’s stories and humility that Jesus is making an enormous impact on him personally, in his multiple congregation locations in D.C. and across the world. I don’t know what your soul is longing for right now, but mine is desperate to see Jesus alive and active in my life and the lives of those around me. And, yes, I do see Him in many ways, but I’m always so encouraged and impassioned when I encounter first-hand, or read about, people who are experiencing him undeniably. Mark does not give us a hard to digest, how-to book. He brings us back to the basic, yet unfathomable, command of Jesus to love Him with our heart, soul, mind and strength. Have I sold you? (Click the title to keep reading…)
Cranford Series
Okay, so has anyone caught the Cranford Series which originally aired on the BBC and most recently on Masterpiece Theatre? It is true I never thought that a) I would be doing anything even remotely close to writing a blog and b) if I were to do something like, say blog, I never thought it would include the words Masterpiece and Theatre. But, let me tell you, I have absolutely loved this series! (Based on the original book by Elizabeth Gaskill).
Now, if you are into faced paced, quick cuts, high intensity, this is not the mini-series for you. But if you are into exquisite writing, compelling acting and moving storylines you will love this. I so enjoyed slowing down and entering the simple but intensely profound and rich lives of the 1800’s. The language and vocabulary were stretching and the weaving of lives inspiring. Plus, the personalities and dynamics of the women are just too perfect. The whole thing made me want to drink more tea and maybe – just maybe – wear a bonnet at some point in my life.
Just thought I would share something that was – trying desperately to think of another word besides ‘wholesome’ – incredibly wholesome (ahhh, there’s just not another word), while not sacrificing storyline, plot or acting. Rent this series if you’re up for it!