Hearing God In The Quiet

Hearing God In The Quiet

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I took this picture of my niece mesmerized by the deer in the distance. (Also, she hikes in a bow).

A couple weeks ago I went away for a quiet retreat. The Lord had been nudging me toward a time of solitude, but you know how that goes—things were BUSY. And loud. And moving fast. And you know what? I can get really comfortable with that fast pace because…

busyness covers a bunch of STUFF.

You know what I mean?

When we’re sprinting from thing to thing—running around in a frenzy or intentionally stacking our calendars—the busyness can become an escape. And it’s easy to excuse our disconnect with God by falling back on how much there is to do!, which makes this all so sneaky. I am guilty of this. But I made the time to get away and I’m so thankful I did. Here are a few things I learned from my time of solitude:

  • Silence allows the chatter that’s deep in our souls to surface. I didn’t realize some of the fears and anxieties I was using busyness to shove back down until I unplugged for a time. As the fears percolated the Lord reminded me of the difference between True Safety versus False Security. In Psalm 16:1 David cries out to God for safety because he had made God his refuge (true safety). I began journaling about all the things I sometimes make my refuge: relationships, social media, financial security, personal devices, entertainment, my career (false security)… It took the quiet to reveal my fears and the quiet to reveal the Lord’s remedy for those fears. I’m still working through them, but they’re out in the open before the Lord now, as opposed to being covered up by a packed schedule.
  • The Lord is pleased when we set aside time to seek Him. I’ve been spending time in various parts of the Old Testament recently and am reminded continually that God desires His people to love Him with their heart, soul, strength and mind. For me, stepping away from the normal routine, daily relationships and too many iPhone checks a day was a way of showing God that I love Him. That He is worth my sole attention and affection. Being that I am forever recovering from legalism, it’s important to note that I didn’t get away to earn the Lord’s love—I can fall into that trap too. But this time I was truly expectant to spend time in His Presence, even if I wasn’t sure what to expect. As I took prayer walks, journaled and meditated on Scripture I sensed His pleasure.
  • Solitude is the landscape wherein God shows you what you otherwise wouldn’t know is there. Like sitting silently in the woods waiting for creatures to crawl out of crevices or alight onto branches, so waiting in God’s presence reveals what’s often obscured when we’re in a rush. I had a piece of paper for each family member and friend I was praying for. I felt led to write different prayers for each person, some prayers that felt expected and others the Lord impressed upon my heart that surprised me. Also, the Holy Spirit brought up a conversation He wanted me to have with a loved one about something I would have never seen a need for on my own. When I came home I had that conversation that was both uncomfortable and healing. The Lord knew.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I was only away and fully unplugged for about 28 hours. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I spent a month fasting while hiking the Appalachian Trail in sackcloth. But it was a start for me and I was thinking you might be encouraged to start with some time of solitude yourself, even if it’s for an hour or two this week. Just make a plan and stick to it. Set aside the time to pray, read Scripture, worship and journal what the Holy Spirit reveals to you. Find the quiet. Make the quiet.

Psalm 46:10, Be still and know that I am God.

 

 

 

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Where Has All The Joy Gone?

Where Has All The Joy Gone?

 

three Tier wedding veil

Sunflower Field, Moldova

Sunflower Field, Moldova

These two images represent joy to me. I should first let you know that I am one of those people who has to fight for joy much of the time. Not that serotonin equals joy but I think it helps and I think my levels are low. Nor does a glass half-full mentality equal joy but, again, at least this points us in the right direction. I naturally dwell on what’s not working, could use improvement, the half where the doubts and questions linger. So, generally, I’m fighting for joy; I’m praying for it; I’m seeding and watering it. Which is why I was surprised when I discovered it in the most unlikely places.

See the Discovery boat in the Amazon? See those sunflowers in Moldova? These pictures embody places that have brought me joy, but not simply because of their beauty or majesty. Though a generalization to be sure, the Amazon is where the forgotten live and Moldova is where the orphans live. And nothing has brought me greater joy than meeting these people and experiencing the power and love of the Gospel in the harshness of poverty and hopelessness and abandonment. I’ve also found this same joy here in my own community, too. This next picture represents that community: meals around the table, family suppers, home bible study, afternoon coffees, the place I have to love others.

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My Dining Room Table, Nashville, TN

Serving, reaching out, bringing in the lonely, encouraging the downcast, throwing the birthday party, taking a mission trip, teaching the Scriptures in your home, holding babies in the nursery, praying for the sick, however you’re doing it… this is where the joy is. I watched a fabulous sermon this morning by a friend of mine, Mike Meyers, who is on staff at my father’s church. The title is “Do Something” and if you have 40 minutes of quiet, I would spend it right here.

Mike spoke out of James 1:25, which says, “But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.” 

I’ve read that verse so many times and missed what Mike so brilliantly pointed out: “Knowledge without action robs us of our true joy.” The flip side is this: When we do what we know to do we’re blessed. It suddenly dawned on me why my greatest most sustaining most fulfilling joy has come from being a part of the change Jesus is bringing about in the lives to whom He’s called me. It’s why I’ve found joy in such unlikely places, in parts of the world and in my own neighborhood where it makes no sense to find joy. Because God blesses our obedient doing. And when He blesses, His blessings are full of joy.

As we fly into September, and the Fall promises a new school year, the holidays, a fresh routine, I’m asking myself how my joy is faring. What am I not doing that I know to do? Who needs the warm embrace of Jesus? Where is He asking me to go? What step has His Word told me to take?

Because there is blessing in the doing.

And there is joy in the blessing.

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You Are Always With Me

I’ve been making my way through Luke in the mornings. During Lenten season I enjoy the gospels especially as we soberly march toward the cross, our hearts flinging open with joy at the resurrection. This morning I was in Luke 15 reading about the familiar parable of The Prodigal Son. Sometimes it’s hard to mine anything new from these well tread passages, though the Holy Spirit is good at showing us anything we may have missed, or maybe can only now handle. Today I don’t know if I have anything new for you, but one particular thought was new for me.

The story is told in verses 15:11-32, culminating with the father’s response to the oldest son who’s understandably frustrated, even angry that a party has been thrown celebrating his younger brother’s return—the brother who, by the way, had squandered the inheritance on foolish, even tawdry, living. That guy. A friend of mine recently told me that if she had been the older brother she would have stood there, hands on hips, saying, really?—in the spirit of  Seth and Amy from SNL. All this comes to a broil when the older son essentially does say really?, and has it out with the father, to which the father responds, “Son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.”

I once heard someone share about this passage and the “everything I have is yours” part, and it was just remarkable. I’ll never forget it. She shared about a deeply coveted experience she’d missed having only for the Lord to remind her that absolutely everything He has is hers. It turns out that someone else needed to experience the moment she’d hoped to have, and in the end, nothing was lost because when you belong to God and all He has is yours, there can be no true loss.

The phrase leading up to “everything I have is yours”, is “You are always with me”. I hadn’t thought too much about that phrase before until this morning. This is a stunning remark in light of everything the older brother was so upset about. We get angry or jealous about someone else’s party, the attention they’re receiving that maybe we should be receiving. We compare things for things, “She shouldn’t have gotten that, when I’ve done all this.” Or “Why is he getting the promotion when I’ve done all the work?” Why the nicer home, bigger family, better spouse, elaborate vacation? We focus on the monetary and material—why the ring, the calf, the robe? For him? For her? Are you kidding me?

And then the father brings us back in five words, “You are always with me.”

He brings us back to relationship. To what it means to wake up to him everyday. To see him out in the fields of our work. To call out to him with any question, because we can, because he’s right there, with us. To collapse at his table at night and dine with him over a lavish meal. To crawl under the covers knowing our beds are under the roof of his favor, the watch of his eye. The party for the younger son was significant, the celebration a study in grace and mercy, no doubt. But the grounding of the father’s words, “you are always with mewas the prize the younger son had forfeited for a season. Son, daughter, you have me! We’re together. Always. Don’t you see this is everything?

I suppose the question is how important this is to us. Would we rather have the party of the father or the presence of him? The father was reaching out to the older son’s heart when he said “you are always with me”, because absolutely nothing on this earth, nothing, no. thing. trumps relationship with God.

I don’t know what’s gnawing at you, but the offer of relationship with God through Christ is so intimate, so personal, so fulfilling, higher than even the most lavish of material celebrations. God sent His Son to die for it. As we set our sights toward Easter, my prayer is that we never forget that Christ came for many things, not the least of which was for relationship. So we could know him. (1 John 4:13-15.) You may be many things today: Disappointed, frustrated, confused, maybe even angry like the older brother. But don’t be lonely. We have The Father who has availed himself to deep abiding relationship with us. And as a bonus, he’s kicked in everything he has, as though it’s our own.

 

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Grief of a Different Kind

I flew in from California last Sunday night just in time to attend a memorial service for a newborn baby. He was the son of two of my friends, whole and perfect. For reasons unknown, except to Elohim (The God who creates), this little baby went to be with Jesus on his third day here on earth.

My friends attend a new church that currently meets in a bar, which works well for Sunday morning worship services but not as great for other functions. Since my friends were without a church building to celebrate their son, they chose one of their favorite and frequented spots – Ugly Mugs coffee shop. Up until this past Sunday I had sipped many cups of loose leaf tea and french pressed coffee at many coffee houses in countless cities. But I had never worshiped. I had never sung songs to Jesus or prayed corporately or listened to a pastor say things like, “All things will be made right in the end, and if this is not okay with you, it’s because it’s not the end yet.”

Because my friends who lost their child are exceedingly young – 22 – the crowd skewed youthful, and it blessed me. It moved me to see a young generation saddened, confused and grieving, but lifting their hearts and minds to Jesus, the Author of life in a somewhat unconventional spot, yet so perfectly fitting. Why not celebrate life and ask questions and cry with one another – and invite Jesus to reign – in a place that regularly teems with community? It reminded me that Christ is not confined to the brick and mortar buildings we call “church” (though a phenomenal blessing to have a set apart place), but reigns in every crevice of our world. And He is delighted when we bring Him to those nooks and crannies.

Above all else, I was proud of my friends who said at such young ages, “We do not grieve as the world grieves” (I Thes 4:13). They had hope that was palpable and impossible to feign. They didn’t merely speak of the fact that God works all things together for good for those who know and love Him, but they hooked that truth with a lasso and tugged it into their breaking hearts. And the church stood around them and agreed with them and God. And drank Americanos.

God bless you Ben, Amy and Aiden.

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Flooding And Devastation In Nashville

Flooding And Devastation In Nashville

Water catching contraption in my basement. Clearly ahead-of-its-time.

Walking distance from my house. Tire swing in the back yard.

As many of you know, Nashville (and other areas) experienced widespread flooding over the weekend. Currently the sun is out, the wind is calm and the birds have returned to their morning songs. However, the wake of devastation is enormous. I am thankful to be in an area where the worst we had was running up and down our rickety basement stairs to empty buckets and trash cans of water, along with several trees down. You can see my ahead-of-its-time water catcher above, something my friend put together when suddenly water started pouring in through a loose brick. This was absolutely nothing compared to all the lost homes, and even lives, that have been lost over the past two days.

I was reading in Nehemiah this morning where Nehemiah declared that the people would “arise and build”. It is my prayer that the people of the church will be the first in line over the next several weeks to help so many families who are in need. We will need a long commitment to restoration here. Thank you for your prayers for this wonderful and amazing town I call home.

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Thoughts On Worship

I have loved leading worship in many environments over the past several years – it has become one of my favorite musical expressions. I think performing is an incredibly moving and impacting experience, but, for me, I found a level of comfort and excitement while leading people in corporate worship that I had rarely experienced in my previous performance settings. My hope is to continue writing and leading worship music for the rest of my life, even if it’s just me on the piano by myself one day. (Still have this dream of learning the piano – lessons coming soon…)

But as I think of worship – even beyond the musical element of it – I am intrigued by the use of the word ‘worship’ as found in the book of Exodus. When God appointed Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt He said a certain phrase over and over and over again, “Let my people go, so that they may worship me.” I’ve read through the journey of the Israelites’ mass exodus out of Egypt countless times, but never remember seeing the so-that part. God delivering His people from Egypt was all about worship. We might expect something more along the lines of “Let my people go, so that they can tithe more, or keep the rules more comprehensively, or go to church every Sunday, or feed the poor, or subscribe to Christian magazines… I don’t know, you can fill in the blank, but you get the point. God could have made freedom about anything, but He made it about worship. (Which, by the way, probably does entail some of the aforementioned things, but it all begins with worship).

When writing my “No Other Gods” study, I remember my editor saying, “Kelly, good stuff here, but what’s the point? Why should women get freed up from their idols?” This was many years ago and I had to step back and think about it. I suppose I sort of thought that getting rid of our false gods was the point, but I realized it’s really just the beginning. Getting freed from anything, whether unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, greed, addiction, affairs, too many cookies, is ultimately so we are free to worship. And not just sing songs of praise, but all that worshiping God with our lives entails. (Romans 12:1)

I’m pondering the things God has set me free from, but I don’t want to stop there. I am thinking about the ways He desires me to worship Him in those newly freed up spaces. Let my people go, so that… So that we can worship, yes, but what does worship look like in your life and mine specifically? Does it look like fasting? Spending time with the marginalized? Dinner with a dear family member? A sacrificial tithe? Prayer? Changing a diaper? Deep laughter? Taking a missions trip? Singing songs of praise at your local church? I wonder, not what you have been set free from, but what you have been set free for? Worship for certain, but what does it look like?

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