Grief of a Different Kind

by | Oct 20, 2010 | 6 comments

I flew in from California last Sunday night just in time to attend a memorial service for a newborn baby. He was the son of two of my friends, whole and perfect. For reasons unknown, except to Elohim (The God who creates), this little baby went to be with Jesus on his third day here on earth.

My friends attend a new church that currently meets in a bar, which works well for Sunday morning worship services but not as great for other functions. Since my friends were without a church building to celebrate their son, they chose one of their favorite and frequented spots – Ugly Mugs coffee shop. Up until this past Sunday I had sipped many cups of loose leaf tea and french pressed coffee at many coffee houses in countless cities. But I had never worshiped. I had never sung songs to Jesus or prayed corporately or listened to a pastor say things like, “All things will be made right in the end, and if this is not okay with you, it’s because it’s not the end yet.”

Because my friends who lost their child are exceedingly young – 22 – the crowd skewed youthful, and it blessed me. It moved me to see a young generation saddened, confused and grieving, but lifting their hearts and minds to Jesus, the Author of life in a somewhat unconventional spot, yet so perfectly fitting. Why not celebrate life and ask questions and cry with one another – and invite Jesus to reign – in a place that regularly teems with community? It reminded me that Christ is not confined to the brick and mortar buildings we call “church” (though a phenomenal blessing to have a set apart place), but reigns in every crevice of our world. And He is delighted when we bring Him to those nooks and crannies.

Above all else, I was proud of my friends who said at such young ages, “We do not grieve as the world grieves” (I Thes 4:13). They had hope that was palpable and impossible to feign. They didn’t merely speak of the fact that God works all things together for good for those who know and love Him, but they hooked that truth with a lasso and tugged it into their breaking hearts. And the church stood around them and agreed with them and God. And drank Americanos.

God bless you Ben, Amy and Aiden.

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6 Comments

  1. 2krazybeautiful

    Beautiful!

  2. Dionna

    Oh – so tough. I am so deeply sorry for your freinds' heartache and loss.

  3. Becky Kelly

    Wonderful blog and a wonderful couple as well! Love you Ben and Amy

  4. uglychair

    Thank you for writing this.

    • Kayden

      You’ve hit the ball out the park! Increidble!

  5. Krista

    I attended your conference this weekend at First Baptist Princeton. I really enjoyed the weekend and hearing from the Lord through the book of Ruth. I am a Pastor's wife and brought a couple gals with me for the conf. from my church. We were all blessed through your teaching. One of the greatest blessings for me was Friday night, your session on Loss. You might be surprised because I know that it is the most depressing! However, for me it is the most powerful. In 2006 I lost a son. Nathan was stillborn. It was a very difficult journey in my life and in my faith. When you sang your song "My Portion You Will Ever Be", it was a time of celebration for me because I know just how true every single one of those words are and have been in my own life. During that difficult season, He proved to be my portion! I am confident He will be the portion in the lives of your friends as well. To God be the glory!

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