The Christmas season is upon us, often meaning our joys and sorrows are increasingly magnified. If our lives are brimming with joy and loved ones near, well, the strings of bulb lights and wintery wreaths energize that happiness like cinnamon to steaming cider. But if we’re treading a path of loss or suffering or unmet longings, our pain is only increased by the continual reminder of what could be, or should be—A soul mate to call your own, a home of bustling children and grandchildren, vibrant health, full stockings and bank accounts, and chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
Longing for the Christmas Ideal
The Christmas ideal that accompanies our passage through December is a companion that reflects what we deeply hope to be our reality while exposing the parts of our lives that fall quite shy of the image it upholds. As a single woman with no children, Christmastime is both exceptionally sweet and a reminder of what is not. I will not be arm in arm with a husband through the malls, nor will I be buying my own children matching pajamas. I’ll be torn between deeply enjoying my parents and family in Virginia on Christmas day while simultaneously missing my community in Tennessee, the friends who make-up my daily life.
To be absolutely certain these are trifle voids compared to some of the unspeakable upheaval and tragedies some of the people I know are currently in the throes of. Regardless of how we’re walking through this Christmas season, every point at which life does not measure up to loved ones around crackling fires and picturesque table settings will be exposed.
So what do we do with a Christmas ideal that shows us what we all long to be true but is perpetually out of reach?
We do what Elizabeth did when Mary came to visit. We rejoice in our Savior instead of dwelling on who’s got it better or where our lives aren’t living up to our Christmas expectations.
A Tale of Two Relatives
Consider Elizabeth’s story leading up to the encounter with Mary who came to visit her newly pregnant with Jesus. Elizabeth and her husband Zechariah had pleaded with the Lord for children but with nothing but seeming silence in return. For a woman of Jewish culture to be barren was the ultimate social shame, a devastating loss of legacy and meaning in one’s society. After years of what Elizabeth would refer to as her “disgrace among the people”, the angel Gabriel visited her husband in the temple proclaiming that Elizabeth would soon become pregnant with a son. And while any son would have done just perfectly for Elizabeth, this child would be the forerunner of the Messiah. After all her suffering, Elizabeth would bring into the world one of the most important figures in Christendom.
Mere months before the very first Christmas, we find Elizabeth’s life shaping up more divinely than she could have ever imagined. Her disgrace has been removed, her womb is inhabited with child, her status in society has been exalted. Soon she will place in her husband’s arms what she’d always longed to give him but never could. Elizabeth, well along in years and having been faithful to the Lord through decades of unanswered prayer has finally reached her moment. The shaft of God’s favor is finally beaming down upon this most faithful and deserving woman.
Nothing like six short months for someone to threaten a Christmas ideal; Enter, teenage relative Mary.
In those days Mary set out and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judah where she entered Zechariah’s house and greeted Elizabeth. (Luke 1:39)
Essentially the only woman in all of space, time and history who could have possibly outdone Elizabeth, shown her up, beat her out, crashed her party, would have been Mary the mother of Jesus (of course this was not Mary’s heart or intent). At the peak of Elizabeth’s glory a much younger and arguably less deserving woman steps through the front door bearing a child greater than her own. And if we’re looking at all of this strictly from a human perspective, Elizabeth’s Christmas ideal fractures before Christmas has even come.
But Elizabeth was not caught up in comparisons or jealousy. Instead, Elizabeth stuns with her gracious response.
How could this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? (Luke 1:43.)
Her words reveal a secret we desperately need at this time of year: Elizabeth’s hope was not in an ideal but in a person, the person of Jesus Christ. When the blessed mother of her Lord entered her home, the farthest thoughts from Elizabeth’s mind were the ways in which her esteem, happiness or place in society would be threatened. All that mattered to her was the Lord, and because this was foremost true she could delight in Mary’s blessing as well.
Resist the Christmas Comparison Game
As I venture into this Christmas season I will be deeply disappointed if I compare myself to those whose lives are living up to the Christmas ideal in ways I wish were true of my own. I will ache unnecessarily if I set my hopes on Christmas-y images of magical settings that inspire a longing they are powerless to fulfill. If my focus is solely on the movies and malls and mulling spices, I will miss out on intimacy with my Savior, the only one able to commune with me in the deepest places of my heart. I will look to Him to do what only He can do in me, what no idealistic fantasy can.
As unmet longings and desires are awakened this season, I will spend quiet hours in God’s Word being reminded of the ways that the Desire of Nations meets our longings. When I feel alone, I will meditate on Immanuel, God with us. Like Elizabeth, I want to look beyond my own wants while delighting in and helping others in the context of Christ and community—that the mother of my Lord, should come unto me?
While I intend to hold nieces and nephews on the couch and watch Frosty and Rudolph, decorate a bang-up tree, make gingerbread houses, stroll leisurely through shops, sing with Amy Grant in the kitchen, splurge on Christmas-y cups of coffee, read by the fire, dine with friends at special gatherings, and perhaps let myself dream of the unlikely if not impossibly serendipitous love story through a Hallmark movie or two, my hope will not be in these trappings.
The Christmas ideal will not be mistaken for my Savior.
Cranford Series
Okay, so has anyone caught the Cranford Series which originally aired on the BBC and most recently on Masterpiece Theatre? It is true I never thought that a) I would be doing anything even remotely close to writing a blog and b) if I were to do something like, say blog, I never thought it would include the words Masterpiece and Theatre. But, let me tell you, I have absolutely loved this series! (Based on the original book by Elizabeth Gaskill).
Now, if you are into faced paced, quick cuts, high intensity, this is not the mini-series for you. But if you are into exquisite writing, compelling acting and moving storylines you will love this. I so enjoyed slowing down and entering the simple but intensely profound and rich lives of the 1800’s. The language and vocabulary were stretching and the weaving of lives inspiring. Plus, the personalities and dynamics of the women are just too perfect. The whole thing made me want to drink more tea and maybe – just maybe – wear a bonnet at some point in my life.
Just thought I would share something that was – trying desperately to think of another word besides ‘wholesome’ – incredibly wholesome (ahhh, there’s just not another word), while not sacrificing storyline, plot or acting. Rent this series if you’re up for it!
Important Ruth Study Update (Part II)
We just got several studies into the www.kellyminter.com store today so feel free to order from there. If you have a particularly large order, email us at info@livingroomseries and we will help you get what you need as soon as possible. Thanks! -April
Hey Everyone. Just wanted to give you all an update on the Ruth Study since we have been getting so many inquiries. It is currently out of stock but we should have plenty available in the next week or so. We are so sorry for this inconvenience and would love to help those beginning the study by sending you the first two weeks in a PDF file so you can stay on track. If this would be of help to you, please email us at info@livingroomseries.com and we’ll email it to you right away.
As well, if you’re looking for the study please check with your local LifeWay Store because many of the stores still have plenty of copies.
Also, we’ve still got some Ruth CD’s. So if you’re in need of those you can order from the store or download from iTunes. Thanks everyone and please let us know if we can send you the first two weeks of Ruth via email.
Snowing in Nashville
This is a thrilling day here in Nashville, TN. Please read this slowly: It is snowing! And when I say snowing I do not mean a dusting, sleet, ice, flakes that don’t stick, frost, or the anticipation of snow. I actually mean snow. Real individual flakes that are falling en masse to a surface that is currently somewhere below freezing. I have been waiting for this day in Nashville for years. (To read rest of blog click the title…)
Some Questions For You To Answer
I am writing from Houston, TX. Had a great couple sessions kicking-off “No Other Gods” at Friendswood Community Church. Tonight we are off to Marquez, TX and then tomorrow morning we are flying to New Orleans for a women’s event a few hours outside of all the beignets and jambalaya. It’s going to be an exciting run.
In the meantime, I have a big favor to ask of anyone who is willing to share her thoughts: I am writing a new book on the classic virtues (godly character traits) in the Bible. I want to come at this from a very here-and-now angle. What I mean by this is: I don’t want to approach things like forgiveness, patience, integrity, etc. from a lofty, textbook approach because we need these things in REAL life, right? I want to really study them for what they are, while also looking at the power that only Jesus can give us to live these guys out.
I am passionate about these character qualities because they have made a huge difference in my life, and yet I feel there is little being said about them collectively right now. So here are my questions for anyone who is gracious enough to share: (Click on the title of the blog to continue reading and/or to comment!)
For Haiti
I John 3:16-18, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” [Click the title of the blog to read more]…