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- Susan Yates
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- Susan’s Family
Hi Dear Readers,
I want to introduce you to my friend Susan Yates. She lives in the Northern Virginia area where I grew up and her husband pastors The Falls Church. She is a wife, mother, grandmother, author, speaker and a dear believer. She’s full of wisdom, so you’ll want to read on.
You can find Susan at susanalexanderyates.com and on Twitter at @susanayates and Facebook
Susan was so gracious to write this encouraging post on overcoming discouragement. I know you’ll be encouraged:
Do you ever feel rocked by bad news? More-than-disappointed because things didn’t turn out the way you wanted? Has someone you relied on let you down? Did a relationship fail to develop as you had hoped, or the job you needed not come through? Have your small regrets grown into a big pile of discouragement? Has it been a miserable week, a long season of trials, or even just a “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?”
If so, you are not alone. Disappointment is very real and all too common for each one of us. It can cause us to sink into the pit of discouragement and lose sight of the light. And as believers it’s easy to pile on the guilt that so often accompanies this. I shouldn’t feel this way. I should handle this better. I should trust Jesus more. Self-condemnation, though pervasive, is about as useful as piling big rocks on yourself when you’re already at the bottom of the pit.
When I was a little girl we often took vacations at the beach. I have a vivid memory of my Dad standing on the shore with his perfect newhairline hairstyle looking while we kids swam in the ocean. With hands on his hips, his baldhead gleaming in the sun and waves splashing his feet, he stood resolute as our lifeguard. We were his treasures and he was not about to let us get dragged out to sea by a rip current. At any moment he stood ready to dive in and yank us out of the deep water. He did not rescue us every time a wave knocked us flat – he knew we needed to right ourselves when that happened, but he was ever vigilant against unseen dangers.
In thinking about my grown-up disappointments I imagine the ocean. Choppy waves on the surface are normal. Winds come and go impacting the sea in a myriad of ways. You can be floating calmly one moment, then hit head-on by a huge wave the next minute. It’s both fun and scary. It’s a normal part of the life of the sea.
Disappointment is a normal part of our lives. Feeling deeply sad is not wrong. Jesus himself was grieved and anguished. He wept when Lazarus died even though he knew he would raise him. He suffered deep agony in the garden. Those he loved failed him. He understands our disappointments. He feels them with us. (Hebrews 2:14-16). We must not condemn ourselves for what is a God given emotion. (Rom 8:1).
These normal disappointments are like choppy waves on the ocean. They come and go. They hurt, but not for long. However if we let ourselves wallow too long in disappointment it becomes similar to succumbing to a dangerous rip current that can pull us further from shore into more treacherous water. You can’t see this current. You don’t know it’s coming until you realize it has taken you too far out. It can be subtle or it can come on suddenly and a child is not likely to recognize its danger. That’s why my Dad stood ready and alert. If we drifted too far, he waved us back and if he perceived we were in real danger he swam to grab us.
Recently I got caught in a rip current.
A project I had worked on for years was turned down. I was crushed. I felt personally rejected because my work had been rejected, and then on top of that I felt guilty for feeling so upset about it. This was not a matter of life and death. It was ‘just’ a rejection, but it hurt- a lot. Guilt and disappointment grew into a heavy blanket that weighed on me. I couldn’t move past it, and I wallowed in it for days. However, God saw my plight and He began to reveal to me that I was being “ripped” out into a dangerous place of deep discouragement. I had a choice to make. I could continue to chew over my disappointment and dwell on my discouragement or I could put my eyes back on Jesus.
Hebrews 12:2 came to mind. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”
My feelings didn’t change immediately. I realized that I had exhausted myself trying to swim against the tide of self-pity. I needed Jesus to rescue me. So I made a simple choice to think about who He is instead of my own misery. I asked Him to rescue me. What did this look like? It meant repeating to myself throughout the day the character traits of God. He understands me; He loves me; He has a plan; He has been faithful in the past; He alone has the whole picture, etc. I have had to make this choice again and again, every day, and many times throughout the day.
As I’ve reflected on this experience, several things have helped me:
*Recognize that disappointment is a normal part of living in this world. All of us will experience it. (Even that person who looks like “she has it all together.” It’s a myth. She doesn’t.)
*Be alert to the dangers of moving from the normal waves of disappointment into the pull of a rip current- a dangerous trajectory which can take us far away from the safety of our Father. One of Satan’s greatest tools is that of discouragement. He uses it because it is so subtle.
*Resist becoming critical of a person who doesn’t understand how you feel, or respond in the way you want them to. Our enemy loves to nurture a critical spirit within our heart. God knows how you feel. (I almost threw a shoe at my husband because he said, ‘You’ll just have to trust Jesus.’ He wanted to comfort me but he just didn’t know how.)
*Restore your perspective. Go to a museum. Listen to praise music. Meet with someone and ask how God is working in his or her life. Hang out with folks who make you laugh. Do something for someone else.
*Ask God to reveal to you something new. One of the things God revealed to me was that I needed to ask myself, “Have I let my project become an idol?” Ouch. I could see my subtle drift in this direction.
*Spend time in the scriptures. God’s word is full of promises, full of power and never fails to speak to us if we let it. The Psalms are a great place to be as David is so honest.
*Make a list of the ways you have experienced God’s faithfulness in the past. This will build up your hope for the future.
*Remember that time heals. You may not feel better right away. Your circumstances might not change but you will change as you focus on God and allow Him to use this time in your life for your good and His glory.
*If you are experiencing discouragement that is deeper and longer lasting than the normal everyday stuff you would be wise to reach out for the support of others or a good counselor. Remember no pit is so deep that God is not deeper still.
The mental picture of my Dad on the beach intently watching over me ready to run to my rescue is a visible reminder of how much more my heavenly Father is watching over me and will come to my rescue.
“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who were too strong for me…He brought me out into a spacious place. He rescued me because He delighted in me” (Psalm 18:16-19)
New Worship EP
During all the bible study and book writing there are moments when I forget that I originally came to Nashville for music – not so much for speaking and writing. That said, I love what I get to do these days, which seems to be a lot more teaching, and book and bible study writing, but I still love every opportunity I get to song-write and sing. Like, I can’t wait to lead worship for Easter this weekend at my home church in Nashville.
For whatever reason I haven’t shared much about this with the blog world (probably because I’ve been blogging too much about things like food), but I am with a worship label out of England called Kingsway. You may know of them through songs like “In Christ Alone”, “Blessed Be Your Name” and “Here I Am To Worship”. A couple years ago I released a worship record with them called “Finer Day”. But just this past week they released a six-song EP here in the States that is a compilation of some live and studio recordings I’ve done with them. Here’s a little early review of the EP if you’re interested.
I hope everyone is waiting with anticipation this week for Good Friday and the following celebration of Easter. There has been a different sort of expectancy brewing in my waiting this season that I am thankful for. I hope this is the case for you as we all look forward to the celebration of the resurrection.
The Power Of A Meal
Okay, so this isn’t the savoriest looking grouping of food items, but I’m telling you, homemade chicken stock is pretty amazing once you strain everything out, leaving only the rich flavors distinct to herbs and spices like thyme, coriander, cumin, and parsley, along with vegetables such as carrots, onions and celery. And of course when you’ve got in your possession a whole chicken from Weldon of Emerald Farms (a regular at the Nashville Farmer’s Market), you have everything you need for a flavorful soup just pleading for mexican rice, fresh avocados and pico de gallo. Chips and salsa if you’re remotely human.
So this meal that begun with a spark of inspiration to warm myself on a damp and chilly Nashville Sunday turned into the center of a large gathering around my table that night after church. I had no intentions of having anyone over, especially as piles of clothes were creeping out of my luggage I had yet to unpack from the weekend, while stacks of mail and boxes of books towered in a couple corners (I tend to like clean – especially when people are coming over). But the soup! I had to have people over for the soup. And so several of my friends – some of whom I haven’t seen in such a long while – spontaneously swung by after the service. And when I say ‘swung’ I mean stayed for four hours talking about everything from Asian art to what authentic Christianity looks like, sans the religious trappings. We had compelling conversations about the poor, addiction, our own places of sin and selfishness. And we ate cookies… We had some of the most honest and refreshing conversations I’ve had in a long while, and though I am certain the soup will not be remembered, it was what got everyone there.
So I’m advocating having a meal at your house. And if you’ve got the time make it yourself, because there’s something about making selections at the grocery store or farmer’s market, washing, slicing, cutting, savoring the smells that is part of preparation. Preparation for who God will bring together around your creation and what He will do in the conversations. Fellowship, or sharing of faith, is the richest of blessings, “so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.” (Philemon 1:6). So make a meal and invite some people over. Maybe even invite someone on the ‘fringe’ who might not often get an invitation, or someone you haven’t seen in a while. It’s as simple as throwing a whole chicken in a pot and asking some people over – and don’t let the piles or exposed laundry stop you. If you’ve got a big enough plate of cookies no one will remember you’re not perfectly imaculate anyway.
(click the title to leave a comment).
A Woman Inspired Online Today
Hey Everyone,
I’ll be speaking on the book of Ruth this morning online at 11:30 CST. You can go to https://www.awomaninspiredconference.org/ to check it out, along with several other speakers. Hope to catch you there.
Thoughts On Worship
I have loved leading worship in many environments over the past several years – it has become one of my favorite musical expressions. I think performing is an incredibly moving and impacting experience, but, for me, I found a level of comfort and excitement while leading people in corporate worship that I had rarely experienced in my previous performance settings. My hope is to continue writing and leading worship music for the rest of my life, even if it’s just me on the piano by myself one day. (Still have this dream of learning the piano – lessons coming soon…)
But as I think of worship – even beyond the musical element of it – I am intrigued by the use of the word ‘worship’ as found in the book of Exodus. When God appointed Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt He said a certain phrase over and over and over again, “Let my people go, so that they may worship me.” I’ve read through the journey of the Israelites’ mass exodus out of Egypt countless times, but never remember seeing the so-that part. God delivering His people from Egypt was all about worship. We might expect something more along the lines of “Let my people go, so that they can tithe more, or keep the rules more comprehensively, or go to church every Sunday, or feed the poor, or subscribe to Christian magazines… I don’t know, you can fill in the blank, but you get the point. God could have made freedom about anything, but He made it about worship. (Which, by the way, probably does entail some of the aforementioned things, but it all begins with worship). (Click the title to read on…)
Recipe Of The Month
A couple weekends ago I brunched at one of my favorite french cafés in Nashville. The chef was fresh out of her steel-cut oatmeal, leaving me to forage through the menu for more exotic fare. I ended up stepping way out on the wild side – what other options do you have when the oatmeal is gone? And ordered the Farrosotto. Next to the name in funky script were the listed ingredients: Mushrooms. I’d heard of them. Butternut squash, butter; check, check. But when I came across the word ‘farro’, I had to involve the waitress. She described it as an ancient grain that is similar to barley and spelt, yet has its own distinct rich and nutty flavor. It was calling out to me in a desperate little voice from the menu, Give me a chance! Give me a chance! And a well-deserving chance it got, hence, the following recipe: (please note this a different recipe from the restaurant’s, but great nonetheless. I made if for myself the other night. Would go amazing with salmon). Note: You can find farro at Whole Foods and online. Comment if you can find it at other brick and mortar stores. Click the title for the rest…